Thursday, October 23, 2014

Dear Zoe....Love Mommy



We had a beautiful memorial service for Zoe. We treasured the opportunity to let everyone meet our sweet Zoe and we both agreed that there was something so special about letting everyone see her preciousness. . She looked like the cutest baby doll. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do but at the same time it brought so much healing.   Joe and I both wrote a letter to Zoe and read them at the service. 


Dear Zoe Faith,

There are so many adventures I had hoped to have with you and so many stories I longed to share together. Our time together here on this earth was far too short but I want you to know that your life touched me, changed me, encouraged me, healed me and enabled me to dream again.

Zoe you are so loved. The day I learned of you I began praying this prayer, “Dear God please let this little baby you are blessing me with know love from the very beginning, let him or her know your perfect love, let Joe’s love and my love be felt even now as he or she grows within”.  I would have loved more time with you so I could have showered you with my love but I find hope and peace knowing that God heard my prayer and let you enter His Perfect Love already.  I can only imagine what you must be experiencing, being in the presence of your Heavenly Father.  I have had images of you and Jesus dancing in the sunflowers. He is holding you up in the air and the sun is shining so brightly upon you.  Can’t wait to join you in the dance.

Zoe your daddy is an amazing man. His love for me is so incredible.  I fell in love with him so quickly because he treated me like a princess and I know you would have felt like his little princess all the days of your life.  Your daddy is so fun and knows how to make everyone smile.  He is the one who taught me to play again, to have fun and relax.  My absolute favorite time of each day over the last eight months was when he would bend down, lift up my shirt, say “Zoe, Zoe… I love you” and give you multiple kisses.   Watching him hold you, give you a bath and dressing you when you were born ranks up there in my favorite moments.  He was so tender with you and made me so proud. I can’t wait for the two of you to play together when we are all reunited. 

Zoe I had the unique privilege of growing up in a family where love abounded. There was never a moment in my life when I did not feel loved.  Your grandparents are the most generous, loving, servant-hearted people I have ever met and they tenderly care for me even to this day.  I so wish you could have gotten to experience their love on this earth, it would have been a little taste of heaven on earth because their love is just that pure.  My three sisters are the best sisters any girl could ask for and I know they had hoped to watch you grow up just like all the other adorable kiddos God has blessed our family with.  Our family is filled with Grandmas, Grandpas, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins galore and love flows freely amongst us all. I hope you are able to feel all of the love that we all have for you.

Lastly Zoe I want you to know that Jesus is my best friend and Savior.  There was a time when I was a teenager and life got hard and I grew so sad.  I didn't know what to do with the feelings inside and sadly I thought death was my only answer.  All hope had been lost but my family did not give up and they all met together with the doctors to let me know I was dying. On that day I looked out the window and say a single flower and I realized that I didn't want to die but I wanted someone to show me how to live again. So I listened and went to treatment.  I grew a little stronger with each passing day.  My parents let me go to college and during the second week I met a girl who took me to a Christian group on campus.  I was amazed by how joyful and happy all the people were.  They had something my heart longed for.  The next day a lady name Ana Arias called me and asked if I had time to meet with her.  I agreed and that is when she told me God created me with a purpose and that he sent Jesus his only Son to live the perfect life and then die on the cross for my sins and that he then rose again so that I could have eternal life and have a relationship with God.  That news changed my life forever.  Since that day I have known the deep abiding love of God that I know you are now experiencing.  Please tell him thank you for me and give him a big for me.  He saved my life and made it possible for me to be your mom.  He showed me how to live life and love it.

Zoe I will love you forever, I will cherish every minute we shared and I will never get enough of looking at the pictures I have of you.  You are beautiful beyond description.  You have the sweetest little nose and lips.  Your little hands are perfect and I couldn't get enough of holding them. I loved holding you and I will forever hold you in my heart.  Thank you for giving me the privilege of being your mommy.

Hugs and Kisses,

Your Mommy

Mommy's Little Girl


Can't Get Enough Of This Sweetie Pie









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