Monday, October 20, 2014

The Arrival of Zoe Faith Stolz

It was exactly a week ago that I wrote my last blog post "How do you say goodbye when you never really wanted to?" At that time we thought we had three more weeks of adventures with Zoe.

October 16th started out as a usual day with an early morning trip to the gym. When we got home I packed our lunches, showered and got ready for the day.  I actually felt so good that morning that I was planning a grocery trip for after work and several other errands. But what started as a usual day turned into an extraordinary day when my water broke at 7:00 am.  Joe packed a bag as fast as he could and we arrived at the hospital at 8:15 am . Zoe was born at 10:47 am, weighing 2lbs 11oz.  I could hardly believe how quickly she came into this world. With tears in our eyes we embraced Zoe in our arms not knowing if she was alive. But after a few minutes we noticed her trying to open her right eye so we asked the nurse to check and see if her heart was beating. Holding our breath we waited for her response.  We were all smiles when she let us know Zoe had a faint heartbeat. Her little heart kept beating for about 2 1/2 hours.

We kept her with us for close to 24 hours and I cherished every single minute with her. Joe and I gave her a bath, dressed her and snuggled with her.  I loved holding her perfect little hands. I loved her little nose, lips and cheeks. I loved watching Joe tenderly care for her. Giving her little kisses was pure delight. I could not get enough of her preciousness. Seeing others hold her and enjoying her beauty made me smile. We took as many pictures as possible.  I tried to memorize everything about her so that I will always be able to just close my eyes and see her whenever I need to.

The morning came too quickly and the moment of having to say goodbye was excruciating. Nothing could prepare me for having to leave my newborn baby in the hands of someone I just met.  Joe and I cried and cried as the nurse walked away with our beautiful Zoe. In less than 24 hours of arriving at the hospital I was being pushed in a wheel chair empty handed to our car. I cried myself to sleep that night thinking about how Zoe's body was all alone at the funeral home. I wanted to spend one more night with her in my arms.

Zoe's beauty was far deeper than what could be seen with our eyes.  Her life allowed me to experience trust like never before, to enjoy motherhood, to dream again, to grow more in love with God, Joe and others. I marvel at how her little life touched so many people. So many people prayed. So many people encouraged us. So many people were brought together in love, faith and hope.  That is beauty that will endure forever.

Today we said our final goodbye...a goodbye I never really wanted to say.  It was the hardest goodbye.  But I'm thankful to know it is not the end of our precious family.  Zoe Faith will forever live with us because nothing can separate the love of a daughter and her parents.  She will be waiting for us in Heaven and will have so much to show us when we get there.  Until then I will love her, I will celebrate her, I will visit her, I will talk about her, I will show her picture to others and I will enjoy being her mommy.

Thank you to everyone for all the prayers, encouragement, support and love you have shown us!


  1. Thank you for sharing this journey with us, Jen. Your precious Zoe Faith is a blessing.

  2. Oh how, I just want to hug you both! So thankful for the hope of Heaven!

  3. I don't know you personally, but I'm praying for your family! Thanks for sharing your story.

  4. Our sincere sympathy on your deep earthly loss. You have been such a witness of your faith throughout this journey and now testifying Zoe's home in Jesus arms. Cherish each and every precious memory and be assured of a fabulous reunion in Heaven some day. God's love, strength, comfort, and peace will lead each step of the way. Love and prayers. Dean & Cindy Wass (Cheryl's folks)